8 breakup phases

8 breakup phases


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“Stay with me a little more, baby, please!

I’m sorry, I have to leave. I don’t love you anymore.”

Rings any bells? You just got dumped.

You feel like you’re going to lose your mind, like the world has come to an end and there is no chance of getting things back to the way they used to be.

Everything that kept you alive and awake –love, respect, loyalty- has now vanished. You thought that there is no way to face a break-up if you treated her right and gave her anything she needed.

Well, sadly, everything has an ending. This lesson is to be learned the hard way. She hurt you and most likely you will hurt someone else. It’s something that happens as a natural circle.

If you haven’t been through a break-up until now, it will hurt you like you never felt pain before.

We think about you and we present the 8 phases of love. Hopefully, this article is going to help you get over this break-up without losing your ability to love someone else, ever.

Phase 1. Time really heals everything

After you get dumped, feeling useless and good for nothing is a normal state of the spirit. Actually, you even start doubting about your qualities and your self-esteem drops dramatically. Still, don’t forget that you are the same man she fell in love with the first time.

Moreover, before meeting her you already felt like you were in love with many other women, right? So why become desperate? It’s just another chapter closed. Another one will begin soon enough. The old saying about time which heals anything can be adapted to “Time heals anything and brings you better perspectives on life.”

Phase 2. Vulnerable is ok

Some think that the best remedy to a break-up is to get a rebound as soon as possible. Well, think about that twice. Right now, you are vulnerable and emotionally unstable, therefore the easiest “fix-up” would be with an old fling. Do you really want to give that girl fake hopes? Plus, rebound sex and rebound relationships which take place immediately after the break-up are ineffective, sometimes being able to cause something worse.

Phase 3. Denial

By now, you have probably called your EX-girlfriend many times to figure out if everything is really over or not. Perhaps you will even offer her a chance to change her mind. In desperate times of denial, you might even tell her that you will make her fall for you again.

You should gather yourself and realize that there is no point in obsessing around the idea that it’s not over. She broke up with you, this means that it’s over and if she ever loved you, now all those feelings passed away.

Phase 4. Bitterness

Remember that your relationship is over so there is no need to express feelings of hate or sadness to her. If you let her know that you feel like the sky fell on you, she will see you as a weak man who is unable to handle her decision. Instead of expressing those strong feelings in negative actions, challenge your mind and body to be positive. You could pick up a sport or a hobby which will take your mind form negative aspects.

Phase 5. Some time off

Many men think that’s a good idea, to immediately start dating after the break-up. They believe that this will help their fragile ego. Never do the same mistake as they do. The person you will date right after the break-up will sense your sufferance and she will get the idea that she is your rebound girl.

It’s better to take some time off from love and from the dating life. Try and make something which will help you build your character, learn something new, get better at a sport, travel around.

Phase 6. Keep interacting

Keep socializing and meeting new people. If she dumped you it doesn’t mean that the world lacks other interesting people. You will be amazed to find some really great people living in your neighborhood who you never got the chance to meet due to your very committed relationship.

Phase 7. Fall in love again

As said before, time will heal anything and will only bring you better things in life. It’s impossible not to find someone who you might date and fall in love with. The new flame of love will revive you and you will forget your old love in an instant. All this is going to happen if you let time heal your wounds.

Phase 8.

If you managed to find a fresh new love, don’t let yourself carried away like you did the last time. Of course, put as much effort as you can in order to have a good relationship, but keep in mind that everything might have an ending. 

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