Have you had “The Talk” with your girlfriend yet?

Have you had “The Talk” with your girlfriend yet?


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“The talk” is the conversation you have with your girlfriend when you want to tell her your true feelings about her and become officially exclusive. Through this “talk” you will reassure her that you care for her (or love her if you have reached that stage) and are ready to get involved into a serious relationship, from all points of view. Regardless of the fact that you have acted like a true boyfriend until this point, taking her to dinners, to the movies, holding hands on the street, gaze into her eyes while telling her she means the world to you, you need to have “the talk” even if it’s just a vocal acknowledgement. Be blunt about your feelings towards her, so she shouldn’t be forced to read between the lines, but do it when you’re absolutely sure about your feelings, otherwise the result might be the exact opposite of what you’re expecting.

Don’t rush into anything because of pressure

Never do this because you feel the pressure of the relationship and never transpose your feelings into outdated clichés that you think she wants to hear. As mentioned above, do it when and because you truly feel it, as she will sense it and react accordingly.

How to plan The Talk

The timing – you may be one of those guys who jump into a committed relationship blindly and might make the mistake of having the “talk” much too soon, before having the chance to actually know the girl, so when you will get to know her for real, you may not like her and only end up in breaking her heart, so pace yourself. Let her win you over and discover yourselves step by step.

It is recommended to have “the talk” anywhere between 2-8 months, but if you are sure of your feelings for her sooner, and most importantly, if she reciprocates, then go ahead and declare your love to her! But as we, all know, patience goes a long way, and along with the relationship and trust gained in the meanwhile comes self-confidence, which will prevent awkward situations when having “the talk”.

The place – there is no actual ideal place to have “the talk” with your girlfriend, however, it is best to keep it intimate, both because of the situation that requires it and in case of things not going the way you’re expecting, when a public attention is not quite a good idea. You can opt for a dinner, but not necessarily in a fancy restaurant; she will know something is different and anticipate it. Whatever the place you choose to do it, if it feels like the right place and the right time, do not hesitate!

The words – Remember, this is not a proposal so keep it simple, you will want to take the big guns out later if everything goes well with the two of you. Try something like:

“I think we are very good together. I am aware I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect you to be either, but this seems perfect and I wouldn’t want to change anything about our relationship.”

“It’s moments like these that I’m grateful we ran into each other.”

“I am very thankful for the happiness you brought into my life and I will do everything I can to do the same for you.

Even if some of these lines sound cheesy, or whatever else you might say, but trust me, if these words are true and you really mean them, she cannot respond in a negative way. But I repeat, do not do it before you feel it just because she may or may not expect it from you. Communication is the most important tool in a relationship, so all you need to do is this: communicate openly and you will get to understand her as a woman and as your companion. In some situations, an entire lifetime is not enough to know someone completely. But try it, because it will help you in setting your plans for the future next to the woman you have chosen.

Now that your feelings are in the open, communication will flow better between you two and you can move up to the next stage of your relationship. This given that her reply is not “I just see you as a friend”! 

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