History class with your girlfriend. Your history

Of course, you have a history, she knows that. Also, she loves that you have so much experience in your professional expertise, whatever that may be. As a rational human being, she accepts that you too have a romantic history and baggage. But for all of these to be revealed, you have to choose the perfect time, atmosphere and place. You can’t just throw her all your soul-shaking stories or worse, the Ex Saga.

Yes, you have to be honest and willing to communicate, but before testing her ability to remain near you even after knowing all your past, you have to build deep foundations for your present relationship with her. Do not make the mistake of telling her each time you remember about your ex.

You talked with her a few times, over a coffee and also spent a whole night talking on the phone. But today the two of you meet for a long dinner. Suddenly, she asks about your ex. Since you don’t feel like talking about this, you try to deflect the question but she insists. It’s not a smart move to keep on ignoring the question because she’ll start suspecting bad things. The best thing you can do is to take her hand in your hand, across the table and look her in the eyes. Tell her that there is no point in revealing everything about your past, since you are there now, more concerned about the present.

To comfort her, you can say at least that it was just a relationship that stopped being good and that’s all. If she still wants more details set a day and hour to meet again and then she will be able to ask you anything. Tonight you are focused on her presence.

In case you have something more important to discuss, like a child or a previous marriage, don’t blow her off too many times. If your relationship with her is on the good track, she deserves knowing the good and the bad. If she is a good woman, she will wait for you anyway, to open up and talk to her even about your more difficult parts of history.