How not to break-up in a childish way

How not to break-up in a childish way

2013-07-06

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A survey conducted by Lab 42 of social media users revealed that one-third of relationships are ending via text messages, email and on Facebook.

Perhaps I’m too old-fashioned, but do you really have to end your relationship online or by text just because it started that way? Moreover, there are couples who met offline and ended up breaking-up online. Why would you do that?

Why do they choose digital break up?

Out of fear of facing the consequences, people prefer to tell to their once significant other that it’s over by text, email, Facebook, etc. Usually, those people are called cowards because they don’t have the necessary courage of discussing their problems with their partner. Nobody wants a slap in the face or the obligation to explain their decision through any other gesture which requires respect and thoughtfulness.

If you had a long-term relationship or even marriage and you decide that it’s time to move on because you can’t get along with your partner, you should have at least that small amount of respect and talk about this with your partner face to face. If distance is the thing that stops you, grab the phone and call her. Carry a two-way discussion, face the consequences and act as a grown up. Don’t just hit and run, that’s what a toddler would do.

Here are 5 ways of ending a relationship which you should avoid if you ever loved that woman.

1. Text message

A short text which says “It’s not about you, it’s about me.” is a teenager move. It’s the classic cowardly behavior and the perfect demonstration of how much you care.

If you are able to type and send a text, you can make a call too.

2. Email

Writing a long digital letter full of lame excuses is pathetic. Think about the amount of time that you spend writing that email, in which you could’ve called her for a coffee and take time to explain your decision to her. Plus, emails are easily posted on a blog, shared or forwarded and you wouldn’t want that to happen to yours.

3. Getting back on online dating sites

Let’s say that your partner has a business trip and you decide to take advantage of this and meet someone new one an online dating site. You re-activate the same profile that you used to have when you met her and start dating again. A friend of hers or even herself discovers it’s active, again. The message to her is clear that you decided to see other people. Wouldn’t it have been a better idea to just call her and tell her that you actually want to break-up with her? Like a mature and wise man would do?

Put yourself in her shoes, how would that make you feel?

4. Facebook-Pandora’s Box

Many relationships start and end on Facebook. Some bad endings are those in which you decide to simply change your relationship status to “Single” without even saying a word to your partner. It’s childish, it’s immature, it’s shameful and it’s not recommended. Not only will you upset her, but all your and her friends will put a black mark on you.

The worse is when you decide to proudly post a picture of yourself holding another woman in your arms. This move deserves a death-penalty, trust me.

5. A magician’s act

Choose not to be the magician in your relationship. Ignoring calls and messages, not giving any sign to your significant other because you are too much of a coward to meet with her and tell her that it’s over, is unacceptable.

If you come to realize that your relationship is coming to an end, be a grown-up and say it in person. Tell her why. Give her at least that much respect.

If none of this is convincing you to act mature and responsible when you want to end a relationship, just imagine how would you feel in her shoes? Would that make you happy?

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