How to avoid being a speculator

It may have happened to you at least once that you went out on a first date, everything seemed to go well, and all of the sudden she wanted to go home or at least she looked like she didn’t enjoy the date anymore. What happened? Did you say something wrong? Did you upset her in any way?

This is the attitude an event like this could trigger. You start asking yourself millions of questions to which you cannot answer, so you decide to call a friend and ask for an advice. You make a summary of how the date went and then wait for your friend to tell you what you did wrong. Of course, he also doesn’t have the answer because he doesn’t know her at all; so the only thing he can possibly do is speculate.

Try to avoid becoming a speculator at all costs because nothing good comes out of it. First of all think about the fact that if you, the man who actually dated this girl, have no idea what could have happened, how are your friends supposed to know?  The only way you can put an end to the tormenting self-questioning is giving her a call and asking her on another date. If she rejects you, then you know everything is over and you should move on and meet new women. If, on the other hand she accepts going out with you again, then you worried for nothing all along. Regardless of the answer she might give you, at least you will know for sure if she wants to see you again or not.

The best way to avoid becoming a speculator is to agree with your friends not to opine on each other’s dates anymore. Whenever you feel that something went wrong, just grab the phone and call the girl. This is the only way you can find out if you really screwed it up or if her change in behavior had nothing to do with you. No matter how much you would ask your friends and yourself about possible mistakes you may have made during the date, you will never know for sure what happened. So don’t be afraid of getting rejected because at least you will know that it is time for you to move on and forget about this girl.