How to react to online Catfishers

Have you ever had an online relationship for a long time only to find out that the person you were so close to was a liar? This phenomenon is called “Catfished” and it consists in an online romantic relationship which never takes place in real-life because one of the partners is lying to the other on many matters, such as identity, marital status, body type, sexual orientation and even gender.

If you’ve been experiencing such a dramatic event in your life, here we have some tips on how to get over this and put yourself back on your feet.

1.       You are not alone

It’s normal to feel bad because the feelings you had for that person were real and now you have to deal with this dramatic change.

Also, it’s no problem if you are angry on the one who mislead you for such a long time. You are not the only one who suffered and suffers after this unfortunate event. All the other people who experience the same problem that you do, feel the same, it’s a normal reaction.

You’ve been scammed and manipulated, you’ve done nothing to be blamed for, they did.

2.       Remember your qualities

Since you are not the one who hurt and lied to the other person, you have no reason to judge yourself. In this relationship, even if it was fake one, you were true to yourself, your intentions were pure and you were ready to love that person. This is what you have to keep in mind.

Don’t make that massive mistake and believe that if this person lied to you, every other potential partner is going to be dishonest. No, you have to realize that this was a sign that in every relationship there can be disappointments, but you shouldn’t be paranoic and afraid to develop relationships.

3.       No excuses

After the Catfisher lied to you, you will be frustrated and angry. There’s nothing that a Catfisher can say worthy of trust anymore. In order to get back to your life and pass over this episode you should let time work its magic and help you move forward.

4.       Make it a life lesson 

You’ve been tricked and you have to make sure that this won’t happen again. Now you don’t have to be radical. Just think of your relationship with the Catfisher. List all the good points and bad ones. Then you can make another list which sketches the manipulator’s profile. See clearly how he/she looks like and for the future, be sure to check those characteristic in people you will meet. Realize how real love should be like and what it consists in, try to search for those clues in your future relationship. When you think back at this failed relationship, try and come with ideas on how you could’ve stopped this from happening. Perhaps you could’ve asked some life-saving questions or could have made some extra research on that particular person.

When you have the objective image of that unfortunate relationship, you have to see it and know how to act and respond in the future. Still, you shouldn’t lose your trust in everyone else. This was a particular case, not everyone is like the one who lied to you and broke your heart. You have to know this as a life-rule.

5.       Decide if you ever want to talk to the Catfisher again

An interesting thing is that Catfishers are usually divided in two types: the ones who hurt you for amusement and the ones who are so insecure that they make fake identities in order to get close to you.

It’s not recommended to keep talking to someone who hurt you so much. Not only because they deserve this punishment but also because it will help you move on faster.

Still, your Catfisher lied to you because she/he wanted to get close to you and gain your attention and love with a modified identity, perhaps you will want to reconsider your attitude.

6.       Consider it a real breakup

Keep in mind that your feelings were real so no matter how the other person was, you have to act and think as if breaking up from a real relationship. Cut the ties, clear your soul and mind and move on.

The basic tricks are to let time pass, go out, seek new experiences, meet new people, socialize and find another hobby. Try and do only what makes you happy, but never remain enclosed in your house, hiding from the world. The world will save you from your suffering, because behind those doors, there are real people who are ready to brighten your life.