How can I move on after an unpleasant divorce?
I am a 52 years old and I just got out of an extremely unpleasant divorce. I had a 27 years long marriage which I thought it was going great. I recently found out that my wife had several long-term partners while she was married to me, so you can imagine my heartbreak. How am I supposed to meet new women now?
Question from: Phil
Answer for: How can I move on after an unpleasant divorce? from Men Advice Team
LetsBond answers:
Dear Phil,
Divorce is a horror story, especially when it comes as a surprise. I am sure that you thought that loving her was more than enough for a happy marriage.
However, the sad truth is that sometimes we have no clue with whom we are married. We discover who our partner is only when he/she acts out after long periods of hiding their true identity. The other way around this problem is that perhaps she gave you clues on her unhappiness or unsatisfied needs but you were too busy to really see them.
Anyway, now that you’ve been through this messy divorce, you got a little wiser. The most important aspect is that you managed to learn something from this bad experience which will now help you in your future relationships.
There’s no point in being scared that all the following women in your life will hurt you the same. All you have to do is to trust that your instincts are better now.
Here you have three tips on how to overcome your problem:
1. Don’t let yourself distracted by younger women who are not sure what they need from a relationship.
2. Comfortable silence isn’t necessarily a sign of complete mutual communication.
3. Don’t act and involve too fast regardless of your instincts.
You have plenty of time ahead to get to know for real all the women you meet. Don’t jump to conclusions. Remember to give everyone a chance but never let yourself fooled again. Go for a complete communication.