5 mistakes guys make in online dating

A general rule that applies to any moderately attractive woman on an online dating site is that she will receive a near-avalanche of messages, winks, and IMs from men as well as women, on a regular basis. So, if you want to date someone you met online, the first thing you need to do is figure out how you can stand out from the rest. You must do this in a positive way and you need to watch out for the following mistakes guys usually make when online dating.

Mistake no.1: The “Wink” and “Add to favorites”

In theory, winking or adding to favorites is a nice gesture and it’s supposed to show you that they think you are cute or interesting, or that they enjoy your profile, but it is a lazy way to contact someone, or to get them to respond. And it's unless if you’ve got the look of a movie star or a very amusing profile, she’s likely not going to respond. So, while you think winking and adding to favorites is cute, so do the other guys.

What to do instead?

Send her a message, using an original subject that will help you stand out from the crowd who says only hey, hi or has no subject. Try starting with a humorous line, comment on one thing she mentioned on her profile or ask her a question about something she wrote, so you can actually give her a reason to reply. Eventually you can say something about yourself, signing at the end, with your real first name. Try to keep the whole text under 200 words, using proper grammar and spelling, avoid complimenting her appearance. Keep in mind that there is no actual science to writing such a message, you just have to find a unique manner in which to do it.

Mistake no.2: Instant Messaging

Does it really matter if you’re hot, amazing or funny? I’d have to say no, I am completely annoyed when I receive an instant message. That is the main problem, when communicating online you can only do so through text, leaving little room for interpretation, because there are no facial expressions, no pauses, no tone changes and no gestures. You don’t learn too much about a complete stranger other than if he/she is busy because he/she responds once every few minutes. If you IM a woman with who you haven’t previously chatted, it might get you a “block” instead of a date.

What to do instead?

Try sending her a message in which you ask her if it’s ok to talk through IM, but if you have already been talking for a while maybe it would be better to ask her out.

Mistake no.3: Photos

It’s obvious that first impressions are a key factor and they rely almost entirely on looks. It’s only logical that if you have a few photos that don’t really show your face and you try contacting a woman she will most likely avoid replying. Maybe she is not looking for a total hunk, but she might want to know if there is any kind of spark when she sees your face.

Mistake no.4: Profile length

The main idea here is that your profile shouldn’t be too long or too short. You come off differently when for example you’ve written over 1000 words and you might seem self-centered and probably not as interesting as you might believe you are. As for a guy who writes only a few words in each box, he seems lazy and not really interested in meeting women.

What to do instead?

Your profile should contain about 500 words, talk about what you like, about what you do, and things you would like to do. While being honest and true to yourself try squeezing in some positivity.

Mistake no.5: The angry follow-up message

If a woman doesn’t reply, try not to take it personally, and the most important thing, don’t send her an angry message in which you demand apologies or explanation. Of course it would be nice of her to send you a kind rejection, but she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially if she doesn’t feel a connection. Can you blame her?

What to do instead?

Just consider it a lost cause and move on or if you have been talking for a little while with her, and she disappears, it’s understandable that you send her a message, but not an angry one. You just kindly wish her a good day or week, or mention that you enjoyed talking to her. Maybe she was just fed up with all the winks, adds to favorites and IM’s that she had to take a break.