Are you a “Got to be” dater?

Are you a “Got to be” dater?


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Today’s world seems to have a constant need to prove a point or to receive validation. If you are a guy, you meet a nice girl and you want to be validated by her liking you, by wanting all of your friends to think you’re cool, and wanting to prove that you are a ladies man. You have a need for this validation and you want to talk to everyone about it.

A woman likes meeting nice guys who have a grip on life, but she always remembers what she’s been told almost all her life: that she needs to play hard to get and the things she has to do in order for this game to work. Women are sexual beings and most of them would like to sleep with a man on the second date, but because of prejudices they don’t and so, the games begin.

The society of “gotta be’s”

Rarely do we look at ourselves in the mirror and just be honest with ourselves about ourselves. All we usually want is to be someone else. Men have to be cool, to be the alphas, strong and tough. Women have to be sexy, want to be chased after and want to be unavailable. While there is nothing wrong with this kind of mentality, it can go to extremes and then men want to be “players” and cocky too.

In the society we live, no one is truthful and honest to one another. It’s impossible to just go out one day and find that everybody is speaking the truth. Imagine how it would be like if you met a woman, told her she was sexy, and you end up having an open and honest conversation.

What could happen?

Well if we were honest with each other, we would be more confident, we wouldn’t have to hide things and imagine how our lives would improve: our dating lives, our relationships, everything would be better. People would be happier with the people they are with, marriages would last longer, the bad ones would end and only then could we say that we live in a real world.

Our main problem is that we tend to overanalyze ourselves, everyone and everything around us until we somehow become stuck into our heads. We are judgmental and materialists. Even in our date life, what we usually do after a date; don’t you talk to your friends and start analyzing everything that happened during it? And so we become obsessed: a large group of people that obsess over every tiny unimportant detail.

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