Books to impress girls

When it comes to impressing women most men want to sound smart and hot and also be a douchey intellectual. This is a contradiction. Douchey intellectuals are not necessarily hot and smart. Moreover, they can become real turn offs when they just start throwing around book titles to seem smart.

If you want to stay in the douchey class, you will have to do more than just read some fancy books.It is all about attitude:

Tone: you must keep your tone as condescending as possible and disparage all obvious metaphors in books.

Language: always use the original title of the book and pronounce it correctly. You can earn extra douche points if you can quote passages in the original language of the book.

Age: put down newer books in favor of older. Always turn up your nose at popular fiction.

Discussion points: Don’t talk about stories, plots or character development. Speak about beauty in writing and how they depict certain emotions or characteristics such as human fragility.

If you want to be a hot literary nerd, you should read these books and tell the girl what you really thought about them:

Ulysses (James Joyce): there are college courses devoted to this book and that is enough said.

Infinite Jest (David Foster Wallace): This book combines philosophy, mathematics and humor. Who wouldn’t love it?

Anything written by Jorge Luis Borges . Not even he understood his books so you can say whatever you want and still sound plausible.

Reading anything by Jane Austen will make her think that you are not only smart but hot and sensitive.

Philosophical works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, John Locke, Thomas Hobbes, Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Rene Descartes and major tragedies by William Shakespeare will allow you to be emotive, intellectual and hot, all at once.

Being a douchey intellectual requires hard work and you must pay attention not to go to obscure. She won’t be impressed if she hasn’t heard of the book or author.