Dating above your means

In my articles I have always said that you shouldn’t date above your means. Well, a few years ago, I was just starting a business after moving into a new town. Until then I was doing pretty good with my finances but with the moving and starting a brand new business, my finances shrunk. Being in a new town I noticed lots of great women and I wanted to meet them all, but I was broke.

Someday walking down a street I met an incredibly attractive girl. I saw her staring at some shops, I walked over her, flirted, got her number and when I walked her to the parking lot, I saw her car: a BMW with after-market wheels. Then I thought to myself that I had to be someone important to date her.

So, I wanted to take her to dinner, but my main rule is to never date above your means if you want to be respected for who you are at that point in your life and yet I did it. I wanted to impress her so I took her to a really expensive dinner and despite the fact that we had a blast and the fact that the chemistry within us was more than obvious, I realized I had a business to start and I couldn’t offer her that life style. When she called and said that we should go out for another date, I blew her off.

After 6 months I accidently ran into her and the chemistry was still there. She then asked me why I haven’t called her back because she wanted to hang up with me again. At that point, I was doing better, financially speaking. My business was growing so, I decided to tell her the truth and I did. I told her that I haven’t called her back because I was broke and I wanted to impress her, but I couldn’t.

Her reply was what surprised me. She told me that she couldn’t have cared less about money and that the conversation and the chemistry we had was what mattered most. That was the greatest life lesson that I have ever received. She also told me that all that she wanted was for me to be honest because most men aren’t and that she would have respected me anyway.

At that moment I had to swallow my pride and I told her that I still can’t offer her the lifestyle that I would like too, but I’d love to hang out with her and asked her out.

She agreed and we ended up dating for six months, within my means. We had a great time and the fact that we were doing things that I could afford didn’t stop my business from growing.

That is why you must never create a false identity when dating a woman because if you imply that you can sustain a certain lifestyle, she would expect you to sustain it. If you give her something that you afford, even if it is not expensive and you are still having a great time together, that is all that matters.  She will appreciate your honesty and the fact that you are different from all those other men who fake it to impress a woman.

When you start dating a woman, do it within your means and impress her with who you are and what you can offer to her. Don’t try to impress her with money that you don’t have. If you want to make her fall in love with you, you will have to be honest because if not, you will only disappoint her.