Dealing with cold feet

Cold feet are an apprehension or a doubt strong enough to stop a planned course of action.

Due to the frequent use of the “cold feet” phrase, it has been accepted as a common social condition. People are laughing about those who say that they have cold feet, but for them it is not so trivial. In my opinion, the cold feet axiom refers solely to marriage and it is a syndrome of modern society.

Wedded Bliss?

Due to the fact that most marriages end in a divorce, you start worrying that today’s society is against the institution of marriage. Moreover, some people think that it is all because of the current demands of carrier and family nowadays which have led to the demise of the marital institution. It is also true for men, as more of them now play an integral role in the lives of the family.

Too many distractions:

The accepted view of marriage has changed. We now believe in equal partnership and opportunity. Now we want the best the world has to offer and we not wait for retirement or afterlife for gratification. We became selfish and we only look for instant gratification.

Ignorance is bliss and knowledge is power. We are now flooded with choices: what to study, where to work, where to live, what to own, but because of all these choices we have forgotten how to build a relationship. We get cold feet more than ever.

Get over your cold feet

Cold feet are a symptom of the society we live in.  It is not about the need of society to change. Progress is progress and is as sure as death. You have to ride with the wave and change from within and as a man with cold feet, you should know that:

Marriage is serious

Once you say the vows and are sworn in front of God, family, friends, loved one that you are in for the long run. If you have cold feet or any doubt about the marriage you should talk to your partner prior to the marriage. Separation and divorce is not an easy way out. Marriage is like a pact and you must honor and respect it.

Your wife is not an interchangeable part

When you get married, you do it for life. You should not trade her for a model in a few years. If you vow to respect, love and protect her, you must keep your word. You have to marry a woman with whom you see yourself even at the age of 90. If you have cold feet, she might not be with the right person.

It is about you and her

Nobody should influence you when you choose a partner for life. Take time together to decide if marriage is the right step and don’t allow other to influence you.

Be practical

Being together when you are married is just a part of the deal, but you must take into consideration all factors, including those that may lead to a divorce, such as money, religion and children. You must ask yourself if you are both on the same page.

If you listen to your heart, you are not a failure

Many people choose to get married for all the wrong reasons. If you are not sure about the marriage and you both decide to cancel it, it’s not a failure anymore. You will avoid a lot of future pain and distress. You will be both better off because you only have one life to live and you want to do it right.

Cold feet are normal

People will tell you that some wedding anxiety is normal and they are right. Even if you truly are compatible with your current partner, as the day approaches you will get worried, it’s normal. I would be concerned if you won’t have cold feet. There is no one who goes through a major decision such as marriage without concerns. Despite the fact that cold feet are normal, you still have to make the difference between being anxious and making a big mistake.