Online Dating: 3 Precious Rules Of Instant Messaging

Online Dating: 3 Precious Rules Of Instant Messaging


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At the beginning of the online dating era, the only way you could contact a woman after you read her online dating profile was through e-mail. That was 13 years ago, something like in the prehistoric times compared to the current technology.

In these times, sending an e-mail to a woman you’re interested in is as necessary as a 14k modem. Of course, it will still work, but it will take more time to get her out on a date.

When you embark on the journey of finding a woman on online dating sites, you have to be prepared for a storm of communication and delivery therefore the quicker the communication transfer and delivery, the quicker you hit the island- get a date. Luckily, online dating sites now offer fast ways to communicate with the woman you’re interested in.

On some dating sites you can send a woman a “wink”, which is a quick, funny and childish way to flirt without having to send a complete message. There are other sites which let you send something like an auto-generated “icebreaker” or permit you to add a certain woman on the “Hot List”, letting her know that you’re interested.

The e-mail, the winks or the icebreakers are mildly effective when compared with the ultimate communication tool which is IM (instant messaging).

More about IM

Instant messaging is known to be most effective to get a woman’s attention and initiate contact when online dating. Why? Well, the written word and the art of using it right allows you to be the man you’ve always wanted to be “in person”.

Let’s say that you’ve always been too shy and insecure to approach a woman in a club. Well with online dating IM, all those fears and frustrations will fade away. Once you get to talk to a woman and confront her face to face, you can be smooth-tongued, cool and spontaneous. After all, instant messaging is something like talking in person, but having the time to think before talking - a huge advantage.

Before starting to approach every existent woman on all the online dating sites through IM, let me share with you some simple and useful dating rules which will make sure that your IM experience is successful.

1. Read her profile before writing to her

Your first instant message to the woman you’re interested in should be interesting, fun and easy to read. You should try and write a message which will immediately hook her up. To do so, you have to read her dating profile and self-summary carefully. Search for some things that the two of you might have in common and use those details to create a conversation topic.

2. Be chatty and funny, but brief

It gets really bothersome to keep on hearing a boring woman talking about boring stuff for hours, right? Well, on this idea, you should make sure that you are fun and brief when instant messaging a woman. Remember that talking through IM is a lot like talking in person so you shouldn’t bore a woman to death with your unimportant novels. If you manage to be short and meaningful in your IM, she will ask for more, be sure.

3. Subtly charming

Subtle advertising is the best! There is a natural resistance when a woman thinks that you try so hard to impress her. If you bomb a woman with endless pick-up lines, she will get so angry that you will be banned shortly after. Therefore, you have to be subtle when you compliment her or when you talk about your assets and qualities. In this way, she won’t feel desperation in your ‘voice’.

Use IM with a clear objective

Instant messaging is a great tool to get a date. This should be the ultimate target, talking a woman out into getting her on a date with you, in person. If you talk for too long with a certain woman through IM only, without asking her out, she will lose interest and move to the next eagerly dating man. 

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