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Online dating blunders-the top ten mistakes men make when contacting women online

Online dating blunders-the top ten mistakes men make when contacting women online


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Mistake no.1: Sending winks

Most internet dating sites allow you to send and receive winks or add people to favorites for free or for a small membership fee. If you give a gorgeous woman a wink she is going to see a man that is not that serious in contacting her or is too cheap.

It’s easy to give a woman a wink, just by scrolling down through hundreds of women profiles, you can click the button without even entering to see her profile. So if you do this, from her point of view, you are not worth spending time with and let’s face it, there are dozens of guys that do the same or at least try to contact her.

Mistake no.2: Your profile photo

The fact that most men do not upload their photo is quite annoying for some women, and why shouldn’t you upload one? It will get you more profile views and thus help you get in touch with more women. Know that if you have quality photos you will have even more profile views.

Moreover, the moment you start searching for women, aren’t you only looking at profiles with photos, and don’t you appreciate them more if there are good quality photos? Why should this be different in a man’s case? The first assumption that women come to is that you have something to hide, or that you are not confident enough with the way you look.

If you want increase your chances of finding women to go out with, don’t minimize them by not uploading photos or by uploading poor quality ones, and try to ensure that the photos are recent. Don’t hide the fact that you are actually 20 years older.

Mistake no.3: Boring messages

Usually there are more men enrolled on online dating sites than women, and good looking women receive tens of winks and messages daily. Your profile might show that you are an exceptional guy but the moment you send a woman a message with a boring subject you give up all that great stuff you have posted on your profile.

Give her a reason to open your message out of all the others. You need to stand out from the crowd of men that give her dozens of messages every single day. Try writing something interesting and continue writing interesting things in your message. You could ask her about something she wrote on her profile and she will know that you aren’t just interested in her looks.

Mistake no.4: Vague and lame messages

Let’s say that you have paid for a membership on an online dating site and you want to take full advantage of it. And you find a girl you want to talk to, and send her a standard “Hi, how are you?”, a message that you copy paste to other girls as well, won’t help you at all.

You need to know that women like to feel special and important. If you don’t fulfill this need, you can be sure she’s going to delete your message in an instant.

As I said before, try reading her profile and learn some things about her, after which send her a message that will make her feel like she’s the only one you’re interested in, but also try to keep it short and give her a short comment on something on her profile that you find interesting. Remember to start in a friendly and polite manner and end with saying what you would like her to do.

Mistake no.5: Taking too long to reply to a message

Most men think that they could scare off women by looking too eager and desperate, so when they receive a message from a woman, they usually take too long to answer just because they’re trying to find the right time.

Prompt responses are not a bad thing. It’s actually more likely to help you stand out from the others. Try replying to her while she is online, just be yourself and remember that women are attracted to confident men.

Mistake no.6: Personal information

You send a woman a message and she replies, what do you do then? You want to contact her in any way possible, phone number, e-mail address, home address, etc. Stop for a second and think about this, you’ve just sent each other one message. If you ask her for her personal information you will most likely scare her off. Take some time to get to know her, and let her get to know you.

Mistake no.7: Sexual references

Don’t make sexual innuendos within your first message, even if she seems like a flirty and sexual girl. This will most likely kill your chances you might have to get to know her.

Mistake no.8: Sending money or a credit card number

I believe that you are familiar with all those stories about people being tricked out of their money on social media; this includes almost any online dating site. Even if she is too good to be true, try not to get carried away, if you don’t have such a good profile and if a woman that looks like a model contacts you, it could be just a scam so be very careful not to send her any money or financial information, just to meet her.

Mistake no.9: Looking at her hot photos and her website

There are some women out there, whom you find on an online dating site, that are known as “cam girls”. These girls have an attractive profile and seem approachable enough. They also tend to have a link on their profile that leads to her private website.

And of course, you are curious to see more of her, but when you click that link, a page will open, asking to confirm your age by providing your credit card number. If you want to browse an adult site, do it, but make sure you are not being fooled.

Mistake no.10: Know what you want

You need to try to figure out what it is that you want exactly, what kind of relationship, what kind of woman, so you can create your profile according to your needs and desires. Contact only the women that you would want by your side. For example, do not contact a single mother as long as you don’t want children.

It’s not a waste of time to think about what you want, actually you could find out some things about yourself in the process. 

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