Should You Tell Her All About Your Past?

Should You Tell Her All About Your Past?


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Many people preach honesty in a relationship but fail to be honest in their own. When it comes to making a habit out of dating different people or having casual sex, the honesty rule no longer applies, since you do not invest any emotions. However, how honest should you be with your partner when you decide you want to have a serious relationship with them?

The answer is: completely honest. Of course people are afraid of confessing all their past adventures, but unless you want to risk the future of your relationship by avoiding to come clean about your past, you should show that you have nothing to hide and are thus trustworthy. Many couples break up because of skeletons in the closet, so why risk that?

A very adventurous and “diverse” previous sexual life is not the only important thing your partner should be aware of. She deserves to know all the experiences that made you become the man you are today. Whether you had a very tumultuous relationship, a traumatizing childhood or a questionable behavior sometime in your past, she has the right to know who she is welcoming in her life. Women would certainly not appreciate finding out that you are a different person than you claim to be. At some point, your past experiences will come to light and you do not want to look like a liar, especially not to the woman you would like to spend the rest of your life with.

Even if you were involved in another relationship when you started to go out with the woman you realized that is the love of your life, you should definitely come clean. Be honest both to the previous woman you were seeing as well as to the one you are currently involved with. This way you will not have any troubles if you set things straight from the beginning and nobody will have any unpleasant surprises to find out you have a parallel life.

This strategy of full disclosure is the best decision you can take when talking to your chosen one. If she will appreciate you more after coming clean and show her that she is the only one who matters in your life now and that the past does not matter anymore, then you may have found your soulmate. You can only trust someone who trusts you with their life and has nothing to hide from you. That’s what true love is all about: trust and honesty.

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